Otome Game Review: Fxxx Me Royally!! Horny Magical Princess!

Intro: Princess Marie wants a husband from the parallel universe known as Earth. Things go wrong with her transportation spell and she crash lands on top of two ikemen. The good news is these two are prime candidates for a husband-to-be. The bad news is this was dreadfully boring and slogging through this was a struggle. If you enjoyed this title and don’t want to hear any criticisms about it, I’d recommend skipping this review because I didn’t like it.

*This is an R18 game and contains adult subject matter.

Spoiler-free Final Thoughts below.

Ryuusei 1Takai Ryuusei: just can’t make it work with the ladies. He can get dates like no tomorrow, but they drop him like it’s hot because he’s, “Not what I expected.” (;゜Д゜) So he’s perpetually thirsting after every girl that passes by. He’s also a huge fanboy of a superhero anime and collects their merch.  At school he tries really hard to be the perfect student who helps anyone who asks, but at home all he does is laze about. He’s insecure about how he lacks an ambition in his life. But when Marie offers to teach them how to use magic, she discovers Ryuusei is surprisingly skilled at it. So skilled, in fact, that he was the one who inadvertently summoned her with his mana and messed up her transportation spell at the beginning. Things unfortunately take a nosedive when a playboy named Akimoto tricks Marie into going out alone with him. He lies about informing everyone ahead of schedule to get her to trust him and roofies her drink. Akimoto’s friend owns a hotel that he often takes drugged girls to so no one can interfere. Someone call the police please he needs to be in jail. Thank God the guys notice something’s fishy right away because Ryuusei’s able to get into the hotel in time to stop him. He casts a binding spell on the rapists with Marie’s help and then Kaoru and Sana arrive to get them out of there. Sana promises to deal with them later by… assaulting them back ( ಠ_ಠ ) which is done for comedic purposes and I guess she uh, ripped it off because she said he didn’t have anything left after. I don’t know, we never find out the specifics and I’d rather not find out… Regardless, this entire sub-plot was disgusting and ruined any potential the game had because this happens in both routes.

Ryuusei 2I guess the writers realized they needed to lighten the mood after that horrid mess, so Marie and Ryuusei go on an aquarium date together. On the way home a very suspicious looking guy runs into Ryuusei and knocks him over. They discover a trash can burning like the bush God lit on fire on Mount Horeb and that’s when Ryuusei learns there’s a serial arsonist on the loose. Gee, I wonder who that guy who knocked you over could be. Everyone wonders if Akimoto is trying to bring the arsonist to justice due to some of the rumors they’ve heard about him, but they soon forget about this potential danger because romance is what matters 😂. Realizing that Ryuusei cares about Marie, Kaoru encourages him to go after her and even suggests he could be a wizard, Harry. So he casually asks her to be his girlfriend and after she agrees, he dedicates himself to studying hard to get into Hogwarts to become a powerful wizard. One day his powers overflow too much and he’s transformed into a kid. Ryuusei’s dad shows up to help him out but of course he turns out to be a sleazebag who hits on anything in a skirt and they don’t have the best relationship with each other. Gotta put some daddy issues in there somewhere! We also find out that Ryuusei was actually born on Kamel’toh but because his magic is too powerful to control, his parents thought it was best he lived on Earth and never knew he had any. Though his dad tries to help him out by giving him a magic sensor to balance out his mana, they can’t cure his condition. So there’s only two options for him: either he constantly uses magic to prevent another catastrophic overflow or they drain his magic completely.

Ryuusei 3If he keeps his magic, he could be a walking hazard so he probably won’t ever get to visit Kamel’toh. But if he gives it up, he’d be incapable of living a normal life in her country. Normal End: Ryuusei doesn’t give up his magic. After graduating college, he and Marie become detectives under his father’s agency to bring justice against Kamel’tohans illegally selling magical items to the public. True End: Ryuusei gives up his magic and during the ritual, a cat suddenly appears. It turns out to be his familiar. Familiars are like conduits that store mana for people to use, and that’s how they escape from a building that the arsonist sets on fire during their date. Leading up to this point, Marie was upset with Ryuusei because he hadn’t said he loves her. It takes him forever to realize his mistake, but he manages to tell her how he feels and kiss her right before the arsonist lights it up. Trapped on the roof with nowhere to run, Marie and Ryuusei decide they should use her magic to save everyone. They make a rainbow bridge for the people to cross over onto another building, but she uses too much of her mana. Ryuusei’s familiar helps supply him with enough mana so they can jump off the roof and land safely. The arsonist is arrested and then Ryuusei ends up going back and forth between Japan and Kamel’toh to study for the day he integrates into her society via marriage.

Kaoru 1Agatsuma Kaoru: hopes to become a kendo master someday and runs a class for the neighborhood children. He inherited the place from his late grandfather, who he was really close to. He’s also extremely attractive so he’s often invited to clubs as a pretense to lure girls into group dates. He doesn’t get along with the organizer, Akimoto, so he never tags along. Despite his looks, Kaoru doesn’t do well women and isn’t confident in himself. But he’s trying to better himself by learning from Ryuusei’s example. The poor dude barely gets any time to do that though when Marie crash lands on top of him and steals his first kiss in a very… aggressive manner. Kaoru is an old school virgin though, so he believes this means they’re soulmates and he’s destined to teach their future child kendo 😂 Sadly, Kaoru’s route was so boring(;´_ゝ`)フーン. The only consolation is that his H-scenes weren’t as dull as Ryuusei’s and we actually got to see some peen and he showed off a lot more skin, During an outing with Sana to pick up men, she runs into an older man who looks just like Kaoru. He’s married and declines her advances so Marie will absolutely remember him the next time he shows up. Akimoto once again roofies her drink (get me outtttt) and takes her to a hotel while Kaoru and the others try to find her before it’s too late. Kaoru manages to get into the hotel by thwacking everyone with a mop. For some dumbass reason, Marie begs Kaoru not to beat the guy who almost assaulted her because he loves kendo too much to turn it into a weapon!  ( -__- )

Kaoru 2Thankfully he at least gets to shock him with a magic toy sword Sana had given him earlier. Skipping the other horrific scene that follows with Sana, Kaoru is struggling to find a way to ask Marie out on a date. But he doesn’t have to worry because he accidentally sent a text to her asking her out instead of deleting it. They go on an amusement park date where they run into a mascot who sounds like Mickey Mouse and this entire scene bored me to tears. She manages to get him to wear cat ears with her and he forgets about them until they get home and Ryuusei snaps a picture. On campus, they talk about seeing the cherry blossoms bloom but she missed her chance to see them. The good news is she can next year so he asks to make plans with her to see them then because he’s in love with her and he wants to be her husband. Well damn. Ryuusei should be taking lessons from you! That’s when Kaoru’s dad shows up looking for him, and Kaoru is pissed. He refuses to talk to him and eventually it culminates in them having a kendo duel, where Kaoru loses. They schedule a rematch, and Kaoru explains why he hates him: his dad wanted to be an actor instead of inheriting the dojo. When his grandpa died, he was in the middle of filming and couldn’t attend the funeral. So Kaoru feels like his dad threw away the family. Like… your father doesn’t have to choose the dojo dude but alright. Because his father is so strong, they need to figure out what his weakness is. So while Kaoru trains against a clone of himself that Marie had made for him, the others try to figure out how he can beat his dad in a duel. Rather than asking her own boyfriend why there seems to some other emotions getting in the way of his relationship with his father, she snoops around.

Kaoru 3It turns out that Kaoru is actually just projecting because he wanted to join the police force just like his grandfather. But because he took over the dojo, he can’t. If he gives the dojo up, it dies with him. His father also wanted to inherit the dojo when he was younger but he wanted to become an actor even more. So he beats Kaoru’s grandfather in a duel and after winning decides to chase after his dream. He knew his son would be just like him when he grew up and that it would be an agonizing decision. If Kaoru beats him in a duel, he’ll look after the dojo. They end up finding an old recording of his father and grandfather discussing these things and encouraging Kaoru to choose what he wants for himself because they’d understand. Finally, she and Kaoru talk things over and he admits he’s jealous of his dad for getting to live out his dreams and that he’s been using the dojo as an excuse to be angry at him. Normal End: Kaoru beats his dad in the match and asks him to take over the dojo so he can marry Marie and move away with her. His dad remains an actor, but starts a talent agency. Ryuusei graduates and decides to pursue a career in childcare and Kaoru moves to Kamel’toh with Marie and will some day become their first magi-cop. True End: Kaoru beats his dad in the match and asks him to take over the dojo so he can join the police force. His dad quits acting for him and then Kaoru proposes to Marie. They also visit Kamel’toh to meet her parents. While they didn’t show him meeting her parents, I was glad it was finally over to be honest.

Sanae 1Sana: is Marie’s personal maid who went to Earth ahead of her to make sure it was safe to visit. She’s been gone for three months, investigating otherworldly technology and reporting to the Department of Interdimensional Affairs. During Marie’s stay with Kaoru and Ryuusei, Sana dutifully watches over her and steps in whenever is necessary. Before Akimoto can take Marie to the hotel after spiking her drink, Sana throws hands. She beats up all of his lackeys and then carries Marie out of the bar and takes her home like the boss she is. After confessing their love, they smash. Marie asks her to be her wife and have children together, so they pack their things and prepare for the trip back home to tell her parents. Unfortunately, the representation was not great considering the stunt she pulled in the other routes… Hopefully yuuri games are better at representation because I’ve been looking for one to play for a while now. I’m open to any suggestions.

3p route3P Route: Kaoru and Ryuusei rescue Marie from Akimoto and realize at the same time that they both have feelings for her. Unable to let it go, they compete to outdo each other every day. But nothing comes of it because no girl is going to realize you’re madly in love with them by trying to best your bro in word games and karaoke. They decide to tell Marie their feelings while also recommending she choose the other person because bros before hoes. The good news is that Marie has no qualms with taking on more than one lover and asks them both to marry and stay with her forever. Even better, she wants to smash and right now. So they have a threesome and it was dull and boring and for some reason Marie had never done this before? That didn’t make sense but alright. The guys end up becoming idols at her request too and then the route ends. 


Final Thoughts:

Well this sure was a dumpster fire. Let’s go through each category before I talk at length about what didn’t work. Because there’s a lot. If you liked this game and don’t want to hear someone criticizing it I’d recommend not reading any further because this game was a yikes for me. It did have some positives though, but not many.

Heroine: Princess Marie wants that D and she’s going to get it, so help her God. She’s a huge contrast to the heroine in the last game I played from Kalmia8, which was Fashioning Little Miss Lonesome. Marie is outgoing, sociable and eager to smash everyone she can. Unfortunately, she quickly becomes little more than a background character later on and loses most of her agency to progress the “plot” and romance. 

System: I liked how you could toggle the textbox transparency and change the cursor into a magical girl wand. The heroine’s default name is read aloud, though you can rename her. You can even turn off both her character icon and voice if you prefer. She has a very high-pitched voice and likes to scream about cute things a lot, so I did have to lower her volume. On top of that, the blessed Skip-to-Next-Choice is here! I wish all otoge implemented this.

Royallay Menu

Guide: There is a guide on Steam. Thank you so much, Trioditis, for letting me know! Once you complete every ending, you can receive a gift in the form of audio recordings from each of the characters in a downloadable zip file. 

Localization: As always, another fantastic translation by Molly Lee. No complaints.

Trigger Warnings: There is both an attempted date rape and an implied revenge assault scene in both routes. Here’s the description on Steam’s page:

This game is a work of fiction. It features sexual content in the form of sexual innuendo, revealing outfits, implied sexual encounters, and discussion of sexual themes. Events in the game contain usage of crude language, legal consumption of alcohol, and mild fantasy/cartoon violence.”

No warnings for sexual assault anywhere. This is a trigger of mine and I wasn’t prepared for it. Especially when it was written for shock value. That’s gross and I hate to see it. Previous Mangagamer titles listed trigger warnings (Steam Prison and Fata Morgana) so I don’t know why this was omitted. The guy didn’t get away with it… but how was also not handled well. At all. What one of the main characters did to him was equally disgusting and I’m still trying to process everything. I wish there’d been a warning.

Sadly, it doesn’t stop here. When asked if she’s afraid of the guy who tried to rape her, this is her response:

wtf

tptason

There is also a bonus story for the guys… and Ryuusei’s was one big wtf. I’m sorry, but sexual content with shota characters is crossing a line for me. I had to skip it. 

Art: Some of the kiss CGs are recycled throughout the game. Hilariously, there was a scene in Kaoru’s route where the description said they were making out (right after she nearly got assaulted too) but the accompanying CG was him holding her to his side with their eyes closed. Alright rofl. There was a lot of awkward anatomy, kiss crops and weird angles too. 

Music: It felt like I was listening to a mobage theme being looped over and over again.

agonizingspanishhoiho-max-1mb

I think I picked F*** Me Royally: Horny Magical Princess up expecting something completely different than what I actually got. Coupled with the above triggers, this made for a disappointing game. At first it was pretty cute and I thought Marie’s dynamic with the guys was hilarious. But it quickly got old. I bought this expecting a comedic, R18 otome game about a girl going to Earth to find a husband while doing her best to overcome their cultural differences. Throw in some hopefully good H-scenes and maybe we’d get to see how her choice could affect her life once she returned to her country. Instead, I ended up with a boring, slice-of-life plot with a protagonist who was slowly relegated to the background because the POV was given to the two love interests with daddy issues. The comedy amounted to Marie throwing out suggestive lines any chance she got to see the boys blush. That got old fast too.

Sadly, the H-scenes were just as disappointing. I’m baffled. This is about a sex-positive MC who’s practically chomping at the bit to get laid with everyone she can and yet she has the most vanilla sex I have ever seen with inexperienced men and is like yes, that was perfection. 10/10 would bang again. What 😂😂 She talks a lot about all the nasty she wants to do but we never see it. Like come on, that’s what I paid for! I’m sure other players might find this to be right up their alley and that’s great! I really hope they’re what you wanted! It just wasn’t for me. 

My other issue is that it felt like I was playing an eroge sold as an R18 otome game. Fashioning Little Miss Lonesome had similar problems but I’d argue that it at least tried. The guys dressed up in skimpy outfits and posed for the camera. The guys in this game were almost always clothed and you only got to see the D she wanted so badly in Kaoru’s route. The MC was the focal point rather than both or one of the guys.

The biggest issue I had with this game, however, is how inappropriately dark it became and how poorly handled its subject matter was. Everything starts off light-hearted, nonsensical and wacky, just as I was promised, and then out of nowhere here comes an attempted assault scene, then a revenge assault scene and a shota H-scene. Like why. Consent had been a huge point in this game and then here comes this shit. The entire atmosphere of the game changed for the worse and any chance of anything being sexy later down the road shriveled up and died like my ovaries. 

In conclusion, I did not like this game as much as I’d hoped I would. Personally, I thought Ryuusei’s route was the best. If Kaoru’s hadn’t been so mind-numbingly boring he would’ve been my favorite. I pray the next R18 otome game that gets localized is better.


What did you think of this game? Are there any good fantasy R18 otoge out there you’d recommend? I’m open to BL and Yuuri too, thanks!


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6 thoughts on “Otome Game Review: Fxxx Me Royally!! Horny Magical Princess!

  1. Billy

    Reading that there’s an attempted rape scene with no triggers is a big yikes, Chief 😬😬 Pity that this game had to be like this.
    Also a thing I’ve noticed too in most R18 otome games is they have that trend of bordering on eroge and it seems like the R18 otome game genre doesn’t fully explore its full potential of well… catering to the “female gaze”. 😂 its always boobies and vagoo out there while the dude is fully dressed, like, not quite sexy at all when the protag is the only one naked while the guy is just dicking fully clothed?
    Anyways, sad to hear that you had a not-so-enjoyable experience with the game, especially with that unwarranted dubious content. Thanks for the review.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Leafさんの夢が。。。 Post author

      Hey Billy, hope you’ve been well!

      Yeah… I tried looking for the game’s page on Mangagamer’s site but the game wasn’t there so if there were any warnings on there I can’t check xD

      You’re absolutely right about R18 otoge bordering on eroge. It def caters to the male gaze more than anything. The yuuri route had no problems showing both girls fully naked but never any of the guys in their routes lmao.

      Not at all, thanks so much for reading! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  2. minbento

    Hi Leaf san! I’m so sorry you had a bad experience with this game 😦 I really wished they would have put in a warning for those kinds of things, I find they’re super cheap plot devices so that the heroine gets “saved” by the ML 🙄

    I was interested in this title since it was R18 and comedy but after reading your review, I’m definitely going to pass on it. Thanks for the review, stay safe and healthy 🙂 !

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Leafさんの夢が。。。 Post author

      Hi minbento, it’s great to see you again!! And thank you, it’s unfortunate for sure but you’re def right about how these are used for romance progression. Not my cup of tea, but I’m sure someone else is fine with it!

      If you’re interested in R18, the same company did make another game called Fashioning Little Miss Lonesome. It was a lot better (although there is a lot of fat shaming in one route) if you’re interested! Take care and thank you so much ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  3. Yurika

    I decided to read your final thoughts after finishing Kaoru’s route and yea I share your sentiment 100%. Naked heroine, clothed guys, shitty attempted rape, boring as fuck story with daddy issues as the main conflict. I didn’t get to the Ryuusei shota scene since I’m still on his route but I’m just pre-emptively WTFing over here. Eugh why. Well then again the same maker had a game where the heroine was turned into a loli which also had sexual scenes so yea take what you will from them.

    Then again these are partially people who brought us greatest hits like Under the Moon & Akazukin to Mayoi no Mori sooooooo 😂😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Leafさんの夢が。。。 Post author

      Sucks you had to suffer through this one too but glad you missed the shota scene if that counts for anything xD

      and this just destroyed me inside lol “Well then again the same maker had a game where the heroine was turned into a loli which also had sexual scenes…”

      Like

      Reply

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